Find the balance and create healthier relationships.
Many adults find adolescent behavior disrespectful. Talking back, snarkiness, thumbing their noses at rules and norms: all of these typical behaviors can come across as disrespect. How are adults supposed to respect teenagers, and teach them respect in return, when these are the interactions they experience so often?
In Dr. Barre's experience as a therapist, what looks like entitlement and disrespect in most teens is normal adolescence. When adults mistake normal adolescent developmental behaviors for character flaws, they respond to adolescents in ways which make respect harder to come by on both sides.
Young people learn respect by being respected. As the adult, you have to earn the adolescent's respect first, and then it will be given. This course clears up some of the mysteries of these behaviors and gives you concrete strategies for respecting the teenagers in your life and earning their respect in turn. Make no mistake! We want our kids to know how to have respectful interactions!
Who this course is for: parents and caregivers, teachers, therapists, coaches and anyone who spends time with teenagers.
Learning objectives
In this course, participants will:
Identify their own fears and assumptions about teenage "disrespect," and apply self-regulation strategies to move from fear toward valuing the relationship.
Describe the four distinguishing features of adolescence in Dan Siegel's model, and explain how each can show up as seemingly disrespectful behavior.
Reframe teenage resistance as a source of insight into adult and cultural blind spots rather than a personal affront.
Demonstrate validating responses to challenging teenage behavior by depersonalizing, getting curious, pausing, validating, and then redirecting, problem solving, or applying a consequence, while modeling the respect they hope to receive.
Course content
This module explores the mutually respectful relationship between you and the adolescents in your life as the compass for your work. Dr. Barre gives a working definition of respect and shows how it can guide you going forward, then begins to look at what gets in the way of a mutually respectful relationship. A hint: it's not all the teenagers' fault.
Why do teenagers behave the way they do? Understanding the power and purpose of "disrespectful" behaviors goes a long way toward helping adults be with teenagers in more respectful ways. You'll get a brief introduction to the teenage brain and to the deep nature of the adolescent psyche, and you'll come away with real insight into your teenagers.
This module explores the ways teenagers feel disrespected by the adults in their lives, and what teenagers say makes them want a respectful relationship with adults. It includes a brief look at validation, clears up which behaviors are often mistaken for disrespect, and introduces strategies that lead to a mutually respectful relationship.
What's included
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Three video lessons with Dr. Barre
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Strategies for Giving and Earning Respect: the seven ways adults earn a teen's respect, and the parts of validation that build it
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Questions for reflection and conversations to have with your teen
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Lifetime access to the course and materials
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A multiple-choice quiz and a 1.5 CE hour certificate on completion
About Dr. Robin Barre
Dr. Robin Barre has 30 years of experience working with adolescents in a range of settings, from teaching high school and middle school to running a private practice. She is a Level 3 certified Internal Family Systems therapist and an IFS Institute Approved Clinical Consultant. Dr. Barre earned MA degrees in counseling and depth psychology and a Ph.D. in depth psychology from Pacifica Graduate Institute. She is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in Washington State and a Licensed Professional Counselor in Virginia. Drawing on her years in the field and in research, she helps caregivers, practitioners and organizations improve the lives of the adolescents they serve.
Nearly 30 years in classrooms, agencies, and clinical practice * PhD in Depth Psychology * Level 3 certified IFS therapist * IFS-Institute approved consultant
"Dr. Robin Barre is the foremost expert in adolescent psychology. As a psychologist, her applied research integrates life as a therapist, a teacher, a parent, a poet, a soul-seeker... As an advocate for the adolescent in all of us, she understands the forgotten language of this part of life, those bridge years in between childhood and becoming an adult, and provides guidance into how to reclaim the exiled self."
Brenda Littleton, Jungian Coach, Retired Professor of Graduate Studies in Education, Marriage Family Therapist
Robin's workshop is an inspiring brave space. I gained concrete tools, an abundance of curiosity, compassion toward my own parts, and a reimagined hope in working with others.
Karli S., LCSW
FAQ
Both. The strategies work for anyone in a relationship with a teenager, at home, in the classroom or in the therapy room. Licensed professionals can also earn 1.5 CE hours.
Access never expires. Your course, recordings and materials stay in your account, so you can come back whenever you need a refresher.
No. Work through the course at your own pace. If you're earning CE hours, each video needs to be watched start to finish in one sitting, but you can take as long as you like between videos
No. The course is open to anyone. Only licensed and associate-licensed professionals can apply the CE hours toward their license.
Reach out through the contact page or reply to any course email, and someone from our team will get back to you.