Notes on validation, adolescence, and the work of becoming for everyone

May 14, 2025 —Let’s begin with three stories. #1 - The poem began I am in hell, written when I was 13 years old. I had just discovered that my larger-than-life father who was, in my eyes, the arbiter of all things moral and pure, was sleeping with a woman out of wedlock. While I wasn’t devoutly Christian, I was devastated to discover that my father could be immoral, that he was just a human being. #2 - On my 16th birthday, my grandmother gave me a beautiful hardbound copy of

Jan 31, 2024- For three decades now, about half my life, I’ve been immersed in the work and energy of this particular time in life. This doesn’t include my own adolescence where my Inner Adolescent is still quite influential in my day-to-day life, or those years when my two sons traversed the bumpy road from childhood to adulthood. So let’s make that about 50 years of immersion in Adolescence*. I’m not sure why my life and my heart were pulled down the path of being in servic

Dec 20, 2023- If I hadn’t been a teacher of adolescents first, I’m pretty sure that my initial therapeutic encounters with teenagers would have gone sideways quickly. The young people who ask for therapy or can see that perhaps it might be of personal benefit to them come in, for the most part, ready to go. But the teens who come into therapy either court- or adult-ordered are quite often resistant at best and recalcitrant at worst. Recalcitrant – such a great word. Oxford La

Aug 16, 2023- Landon stood toe-to-toe with the alternative high school administrator. He stood as tall as and outweighed the school administrator by a solid 15 lbs, and he was pissed! On the other side of the room I witnessed this unfolding conflict going nowhere good fast. The altercation ended with Landon swearing at the administrator and subsequently being given suspension. ~ It was the morning grammar exercise and 12 yr. old Margo was having none of it. I was a visitor ob